Would you like to learn how to pole dance?
I'm sorry, my name isn't Kelley
Ever been to an adult store?
Have you ever been in my nightstand?
Ever bought something from an adult store?
my ex
Ever played strip poker?
I've played strip let's drink beer
Ever gone skinny dipping?
If by skinny dipping you mean Grey Goose, then yes
Kissed someone of the same sex?
my reflection
Sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Sky rockets in fight....afternoon delight
Are you dominant or submissive?
I'll submit to me dominating you, thanks.
Would you have sex with anyone on your Top friends?
Have I been on top of anyone in my top friends? Is that what you said?
What is the weirdest place you've had sex?
third tile from the left
Ever been to a strip club?
again, my name isn't Kelley
Called someone the wrong name durring sex?
names are not important
Do you believe in make-up sex?
is there any other kind?
Ever had a one night stand?
see nightstand.
Has anyone ever used alcohol to lower your resistance?
ahoy virginity
Ever used alcohol to lower someones resistance?
ahoy virginity
Ever been cheated on?
pa fucking leeease!
Ever cheated on someone?
jesus christ and ladder day saints...IDK
Drunken Nights
Is there any other kind of night?
How many drinks til your drunk?
7968576567
What is your favorite beer?
Hoegaarden
What is your favorite mixed drink?
Mr. Goose and he's Grey
What is your favorite shot?
body
Do prefer to drink alone or socially?
I prefer to drink w/ my girls. Thanks.
Ever passed out from drinking?
any day that ends in y
Ever thrown up from drinking?
I've thrown up from seeing your face
Ever been carried by someone else because of your drunkenness?
no
Ever carried someone because of their drunkenness?
happy v day Pamela!!!
In the rain?
omg! Yes please!!!
In a public place?
sure!
In a car?
hood
With the same sex?
not yet.
On the first date?
NO THANKS!
Pick One
on....see reflection
Pink or Black?
both
Sweet or Spicy?
calente
Lace or Leather?
lace
Hugs or Kisses?
kiss my ass
Fast or Slow?
both
Hard or Soft?
depends
Give or Recieve?
i love both.
Love or Lust?
LOVE is all that I am interested in.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
My Bucket List (I guess)
Gone on a blind date?
NO
Watched someone die?
Yes
Been to Canada?
Detroit is the closest I've been
Been to Mexico?
Yes. Many times
Been to Florida?
Yes
Jumped off a cliff?
Yes
Bungee jumped?
Yes
Parasailed?
gay
Been to Hawaii?
no
Been on a plane?
duh
Flown a plane?
at one time in my life I may have thought I did...reality sets in. no. lol
Been on a helicopter?
yes
Been lost?
yes
Gone to Washington, DC?
no
Swam in the ocean?
yes
Cried yourself to sleep?
Yes..thanks SW
Played cops and robbers?
It's only kinky the first time
Recently colored with crayons?
on your face
Sang Karaoke?
yes!
Paid for a meal with coins only?
um, no. I'm not from the East Side thanks
Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch?
I've been under it
Been to New York City at Christmas time?
Yes and it's amazing!
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Please see current life
Made prank phone calls?
Of course!
Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans?
No and honestly, have no desire to
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
yes!
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
yes
Danced in the rain-naked?
no
Written a letter to Santa Claus?
yes
Been kissed under the mistletoe?
yes
Watched the sunrise with someone?
no
Blown bubbles?
in my beer
Gone ice-skating?
If by ice you mean vodka, yes.
Gone to the movies?
I'm sorry, did you say made movies or gone?
Been deep sea fishing?
I consider drinking massive amounts of booze deep sea fishing. But that's neither here nor there
Driven across the United States?
Yes, quite a few times and it's amazing
Been in a hot air balloon?
hell to the no
Been sky diving?
yes
Gone snowmobiling?
no but I'd love to
Lived in more than one country?
yes
Lay down outside at night and admired the stars?
yes but not w/ anyone I wanted to
Seen a falling star and made a wish?
yes!
Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser?
that sounds pretty naughty.
Been on a cruise?
will be going on one. 6/29/09
Traveled by train?
I'm not homeless
Traveled by motorcycle?
yes
Been horse back riding?
giddy up!!
Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR?
I'm not gay
Been to Disney World?
I'm not 12
Truly believe in the power of prayer?
absolutely
Been in a rain forest?
in the rain forest restaurant in vegas...yes
Seen whales in the ocean?
Yes, I saw Steve's ex in his vacation pictures
Been to Niagara Falls?
I'm not retired yet
Ridden on an elephant?
I won't even go there
Swam with dolphins?
no
Been to the Olympics?
the special olympics
Walked on the Great Wall of China?
I've swam in the east china sea but did not walk on a wall. sorry
Saw and heard a glacier calf?
no
Been to the World Series or Superbowl?
I wish!!!!
Been water-skiing?
yes
Been snow-skiing?
yes
Been to Westminster Abbey?
I would love to
Swam in the Mediterranean?
NO
Been to a Major League Baseball game?
Of course
Been to a National Football League game?
Of course
Ever been skinny-dipping?
no
Laugh so hard you cry?
yes
Follow a map for treasure?
if by treasure you mean Hoegaarden then of course
Drive a dune buggy?
I would
Get lost in East L.A. after dark?
yes
Love someone so much it made you cry?
yes
Wet the bed?
no
Peed in your pants?
no
Own a Wii?
currently
Had an Atari?
yes
Ran a marathon?
um..no thanks
Had surgery?
too many times
NO
Watched someone die?
Yes
Been to Canada?
Detroit is the closest I've been
Been to Mexico?
Yes. Many times
Been to Florida?
Yes
Jumped off a cliff?
Yes
Bungee jumped?
Yes
Parasailed?
gay
Been to Hawaii?
no
Been on a plane?
duh
Flown a plane?
at one time in my life I may have thought I did...reality sets in. no. lol
Been on a helicopter?
yes
Been lost?
yes
Gone to Washington, DC?
no
Swam in the ocean?
yes
Cried yourself to sleep?
Yes..thanks SW
Played cops and robbers?
It's only kinky the first time
Recently colored with crayons?
on your face
Sang Karaoke?
yes!
Paid for a meal with coins only?
um, no. I'm not from the East Side thanks
Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch?
I've been under it
Been to New York City at Christmas time?
Yes and it's amazing!
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
Please see current life
Made prank phone calls?
Of course!
Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans?
No and honestly, have no desire to
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
yes!
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
yes
Danced in the rain-naked?
no
Written a letter to Santa Claus?
yes
Been kissed under the mistletoe?
yes
Watched the sunrise with someone?
no
Blown bubbles?
in my beer
Gone ice-skating?
If by ice you mean vodka, yes.
Gone to the movies?
I'm sorry, did you say made movies or gone?
Been deep sea fishing?
I consider drinking massive amounts of booze deep sea fishing. But that's neither here nor there
Driven across the United States?
Yes, quite a few times and it's amazing
Been in a hot air balloon?
hell to the no
Been sky diving?
yes
Gone snowmobiling?
no but I'd love to
Lived in more than one country?
yes
Lay down outside at night and admired the stars?
yes but not w/ anyone I wanted to
Seen a falling star and made a wish?
yes!
Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser?
that sounds pretty naughty.
Been on a cruise?
will be going on one. 6/29/09
Traveled by train?
I'm not homeless
Traveled by motorcycle?
yes
Been horse back riding?
giddy up!!
Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR?
I'm not gay
Been to Disney World?
I'm not 12
Truly believe in the power of prayer?
absolutely
Been in a rain forest?
in the rain forest restaurant in vegas...yes
Seen whales in the ocean?
Yes, I saw Steve's ex in his vacation pictures
Been to Niagara Falls?
I'm not retired yet
Ridden on an elephant?
I won't even go there
Swam with dolphins?
no
Been to the Olympics?
the special olympics
Walked on the Great Wall of China?
I've swam in the east china sea but did not walk on a wall. sorry
Saw and heard a glacier calf?
no
Been to the World Series or Superbowl?
I wish!!!!
Been water-skiing?
yes
Been snow-skiing?
yes
Been to Westminster Abbey?
I would love to
Swam in the Mediterranean?
NO
Been to a Major League Baseball game?
Of course
Been to a National Football League game?
Of course
Ever been skinny-dipping?
no
Laugh so hard you cry?
yes
Follow a map for treasure?
if by treasure you mean Hoegaarden then of course
Drive a dune buggy?
I would
Get lost in East L.A. after dark?
yes
Love someone so much it made you cry?
yes
Wet the bed?
no
Peed in your pants?
no
Own a Wii?
currently
Had an Atari?
yes
Ran a marathon?
um..no thanks
Had surgery?
too many times
Damnit Pamela! She always finds the good ones...
Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
Steve of course
Have you ever had a garage sale?
Before or after my Jerry Springer taping? HELL NO I haven't!
What kind of iPod do you have?
I have two. One white, one silver.
What kind of dog do you have?
Teacup Chihuhua named Fawn who is the love of my life
What's for dinner tonight?
MGD 64 and Camel no. 9's
What is the last drink you drank?
Moonshine. I kid...I had a diet coke chaser with it!
How long is your hair?
not
Are you happy right now?
Not completely. I'm in limbo. I need to figure it out
What did you say last?
Sorry I was too preoccupied to remember you existed
How old will you be in 2010?
31...bring on the botox!!!!
Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
NO b/c I'll slap him
What is your favorite key chain on your keys?
the one that holds my keys to my liquor cabinet
Who introduced you to your boyfriend or girlfriend?
Self
What DVD is in your DVD player?
filth
What's something fun you did today?
Nothing at all. Today has been very dull
What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"?
that drunken night in tijuana
What are you listening to right now?
news
What have you had to drink so far today?
Diet Coke and I'm preparing to go out for Starbucks
When is your birthday?
7/4/79
What's the area code for your cell phone?
317 (someone kill me)
Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
Buckle
What were you doing before this?
counting the beers in my fridge and sending a nasty gram to someone who deserved it
What are you going to do after this?
Go to Starbucks
What is something you need to go shopping for?
A Husband
Do you like pickles?
If by pickles you mean vodka then yes
How about olives?
Blue cheese stuffed in a very dirty martini.
What is your favorite kind of gum?
The kind that has alcohol in it
When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
Always when possible.
Has anyone ever sang to you?
yes
Has anyone ever given you roses?
yes and I love getting flowers...OFTEN thanks
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
depends on what I had w/ me
What is your favorite color?
hops and barley
What color are your eyes?
BLUE
How tall are you?
5'5"
Do you like your parents?
Yes! They are amazing!
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
You clearly don't know me well enough if you have to ask that
How long does it take you to shower?
1 month
What movie do you want to see?
Slum Dog Millionaire
Was your mom a cheerleader?
yes
What is the last letter of your middle name?
e
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
not enough
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
ALWAYS! Except for some f'n reason I wasn't wearing it 3/30/08
Are you scared of flying?
I am until I down a few cocktails before boarding
What do you sleep in?
wouldn't you like to know?
Do you have any tattoos?
yes and I want them removed
Have you ever been to Los Angeles?
Of course. Used to reside there fool
What jewelry do you wear all the time?
Tiffany
What is your favorite song at the moment?
I have too many fav songs
What song do you HATE?
omg anything by soulja boy or that stanky leg song. wtf?
Do you like chocolate?
Love it. Never used to, but for some reason, now, I do. This is shitty.
Are you easy to get along with?
of course unless you piss me off, then good luck
Any up coming events you're excited about?
Moving, Derby, cruise,
What did you realize today?
That things were what I made them to be in my head, not ACTUALLY how they were.
Held hands with anyone today?
God
What will you be doing tomorrow?
Wrapping things up here in Indy, saying goodbye. Hopefully not crying again and drinking.
When was the last time you cried?
last night
What are you wearing right now?
a sinful shirt and black leggings. yes, Hot. I know.
What was the last thing you ate?
jimmy johns. I had to eat I was not feeling well
Have you ever bought drugs?
who does that?
Do you have a tan?
I was born tan
Day been rough?
fuck yes
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
I think we all know who this is
Are you jealous of anyone right now?
my reflection.
What is the last movie you watched?
Fast times in Jenner's eye
How do you feel about tattoos and piercings?
I feel fine about them
Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
fuck no. gross.
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
today
Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won' t tell?
they wouldn't be my friends otherwise. I can tell anything to these people and I know that it will never ever ever leave their mouths.
Have you ever cried while in the shower?
yes
Do you miss your past?
some parts
Believe ex's can be friends?
I haven't dated anyone mature enough to maintain a friendship with
Do you think you are a good person?
I know I am. I'm not perfect but I know I'm a good person
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Robbed a bank...oh wait, I am a good person
Last person to worry about you?
My friends. Per usual
Are you a morning person or a night person?
both
When was the last time you were on an airplane?
I'm on a mother fkn boat!!!
What can't you wait for?
For Dr. to propose to me, moving, derby, my 30th bday and our cruise!!!
Have you ever done something dumb?
the question is when haven't I?
Do you get jealous easily?
no but I don't put up w/ b.s. either
Have you hugged someone within the last week?
yes.
Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
yes
When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
yesterday
Is your phone close to you?
always. my blackberry is an extention of my body
Bet you're missing someone now?
yep
Last place you went out to eat?
Ruby's
Where does most of your family live?
both KY and OH
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
did it
Rent a movie or go to movies?
rent
Are you happy with life?
I'm content but waiting for the opportunity for things to change and be just how I wish them to be
Could you cry right now?
not @ the moment.
What were you doing this morning at 7am?
getting anti biotics pumped into my system
What are you listening to?
the damn news still
Is there anything that you are craving right now?
coffee
What do you need to be doing right now?
Cleaning my bathroom
Have you spoken to your mother today?
yes
What are you most happy about at this moment?
I don't know yet.
Steve of course
Have you ever had a garage sale?
Before or after my Jerry Springer taping? HELL NO I haven't!
What kind of iPod do you have?
I have two. One white, one silver.
What kind of dog do you have?
Teacup Chihuhua named Fawn who is the love of my life
What's for dinner tonight?
MGD 64 and Camel no. 9's
What is the last drink you drank?
Moonshine. I kid...I had a diet coke chaser with it!
How long is your hair?
not
Are you happy right now?
Not completely. I'm in limbo. I need to figure it out
What did you say last?
Sorry I was too preoccupied to remember you existed
How old will you be in 2010?
31...bring on the botox!!!!
Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
NO b/c I'll slap him
What is your favorite key chain on your keys?
the one that holds my keys to my liquor cabinet
Who introduced you to your boyfriend or girlfriend?
Self
What DVD is in your DVD player?
filth
What's something fun you did today?
Nothing at all. Today has been very dull
What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"?
that drunken night in tijuana
What are you listening to right now?
news
What have you had to drink so far today?
Diet Coke and I'm preparing to go out for Starbucks
When is your birthday?
7/4/79
What's the area code for your cell phone?
317 (someone kill me)
Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
Buckle
What were you doing before this?
counting the beers in my fridge and sending a nasty gram to someone who deserved it
What are you going to do after this?
Go to Starbucks
What is something you need to go shopping for?
A Husband
Do you like pickles?
If by pickles you mean vodka then yes
How about olives?
Blue cheese stuffed in a very dirty martini.
What is your favorite kind of gum?
The kind that has alcohol in it
When you're at the grocery store do you use the self checkout?
Always when possible.
Has anyone ever sang to you?
yes
Has anyone ever given you roses?
yes and I love getting flowers...OFTEN thanks
If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
depends on what I had w/ me
What is your favorite color?
hops and barley
What color are your eyes?
BLUE
How tall are you?
5'5"
Do you like your parents?
Yes! They are amazing!
Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
You clearly don't know me well enough if you have to ask that
How long does it take you to shower?
1 month
What movie do you want to see?
Slum Dog Millionaire
Was your mom a cheerleader?
yes
What is the last letter of your middle name?
e
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
not enough
Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
ALWAYS! Except for some f'n reason I wasn't wearing it 3/30/08
Are you scared of flying?
I am until I down a few cocktails before boarding
What do you sleep in?
wouldn't you like to know?
Do you have any tattoos?
yes and I want them removed
Have you ever been to Los Angeles?
Of course. Used to reside there fool
What jewelry do you wear all the time?
Tiffany
What is your favorite song at the moment?
I have too many fav songs
What song do you HATE?
omg anything by soulja boy or that stanky leg song. wtf?
Do you like chocolate?
Love it. Never used to, but for some reason, now, I do. This is shitty.
Are you easy to get along with?
of course unless you piss me off, then good luck
Any up coming events you're excited about?
Moving, Derby, cruise,
What did you realize today?
That things were what I made them to be in my head, not ACTUALLY how they were.
Held hands with anyone today?
God
What will you be doing tomorrow?
Wrapping things up here in Indy, saying goodbye. Hopefully not crying again and drinking.
When was the last time you cried?
last night
What are you wearing right now?
a sinful shirt and black leggings. yes, Hot. I know.
What was the last thing you ate?
jimmy johns. I had to eat I was not feeling well
Have you ever bought drugs?
who does that?
Do you have a tan?
I was born tan
Day been rough?
fuck yes
Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
I think we all know who this is
Are you jealous of anyone right now?
my reflection.
What is the last movie you watched?
Fast times in Jenner's eye
How do you feel about tattoos and piercings?
I feel fine about them
Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
fuck no. gross.
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
today
Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won' t tell?
they wouldn't be my friends otherwise. I can tell anything to these people and I know that it will never ever ever leave their mouths.
Have you ever cried while in the shower?
yes
Do you miss your past?
some parts
Believe ex's can be friends?
I haven't dated anyone mature enough to maintain a friendship with
Do you think you are a good person?
I know I am. I'm not perfect but I know I'm a good person
What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Robbed a bank...oh wait, I am a good person
Last person to worry about you?
My friends. Per usual
Are you a morning person or a night person?
both
When was the last time you were on an airplane?
I'm on a mother fkn boat!!!
What can't you wait for?
For Dr. to propose to me, moving, derby, my 30th bday and our cruise!!!
Have you ever done something dumb?
the question is when haven't I?
Do you get jealous easily?
no but I don't put up w/ b.s. either
Have you hugged someone within the last week?
yes.
Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
yes
When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
yesterday
Is your phone close to you?
always. my blackberry is an extention of my body
Bet you're missing someone now?
yep
Last place you went out to eat?
Ruby's
Where does most of your family live?
both KY and OH
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
did it
Rent a movie or go to movies?
rent
Are you happy with life?
I'm content but waiting for the opportunity for things to change and be just how I wish them to be
Could you cry right now?
not @ the moment.
What were you doing this morning at 7am?
getting anti biotics pumped into my system
What are you listening to?
the damn news still
Is there anything that you are craving right now?
coffee
What do you need to be doing right now?
Cleaning my bathroom
Have you spoken to your mother today?
yes
What are you most happy about at this moment?
I don't know yet.
I'll thank you to see how uninteresting I am at the moment
1. how are you? See title. Uninteresting...or is it really NOT interested?
2. who was the last person you hugged? If my mirror were a person I would say "my mirror"..hell, I'll say it anyways!
3. look to your left, what do you see? out the window at my shit-tay apt complex that I shall be departing forever in a matter of days
4. where do you like to be the most? whore houses
5. whats your fave film? I can't tell you that
6.what does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you? are you going to ask me if we sat next to each other at lunch today as well? F off.
7. what did you last laugh about? I'm sure something hilarious that I said, Pamela Macie, Nghia or Banks said.
8. where was your default took? took? taken? Brian TOOK said fabulous default pic, TAKEN of myself and Pamela @ Bootsy's on Valentine's Day...which was equally fabulous.
9. whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy? Brain. Not broke. Doesn't stay the night.
10. if your still in school, whats your fave lesson? Anything I can show up drunk to (bwwahahahhaaa I had to use it too Pamela. Great minds think alike)
11. what do you work as / want to work as? professional drinker
12. do you play video games? I'm a puppetier...you are my puppet. That is my game. deal.
13. who never fails to make you laugh? Macie, Pamela, Nghia and Banks
14. what are you listening to right now? the news
15. who did you last have a sleepover with? Prince Valium
16. i bet you miss someone, who? I don't answer things that may cause other's to ask questions. thanks.
17. are you happy with your life right now? There is currently not an adult beverage in my hand so no
18. why did you last get upset? bc I thought I had more beer in my fridge than I really do
19. who was the last person you texted? Stevie Wonder
20. who do you live with? Fawn and my overwhelming awesomeness. Other than that there is no more room for anything or anyone else.
21. do you like living with them? duh
22. whats your mood right now on myspace? none
24. did you realise that there was no 23? do you realize that you don't know how to spell for shit?
26. who did you last shout at and why? Steve I'm sure. He is a professional piss Jen off man
27. are you normally a happy person? define normally
28. what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who? a seedy "not for the kids" movie in an alley. I dunno. I only keep track of my booze and men, not the movies I see.
29. whats your fave food? Mexican and a great filet.
30. are you in love? With my MAC, alcohol, bronzer, mascara, my friends, fawn and family
31. do you remember how you were 3 years ago? yea i remember. And???????
32. if so, does it make you cringe? hahha
33. if you could be with someone right now, who would it be? TCOSYG
34. do you have any blogs on your myspace? yes
35. whats your fave thing in your room? my bed
36. is this quiz boring you? you have no idea
37. if you had one wish, what would you wish for? A good man who knows how to treat me....yet to find that shit
38. when was the last time you lied? probably throughout this entire stupid quiz
39. are your lips chapped? no but I'll chap your ass
40. any last words for this survey? I enjoy doing useless shit that wastes my time. Oh of course I do, look at the people I've dated!
2. who was the last person you hugged? If my mirror were a person I would say "my mirror"..hell, I'll say it anyways!
3. look to your left, what do you see? out the window at my shit-tay apt complex that I shall be departing forever in a matter of days
4. where do you like to be the most? whore houses
5. whats your fave film? I can't tell you that
6.what does the last person you commented on myspace mean to you? are you going to ask me if we sat next to each other at lunch today as well? F off.
7. what did you last laugh about? I'm sure something hilarious that I said, Pamela Macie, Nghia or Banks said.
8. where was your default took? took? taken? Brian TOOK said fabulous default pic, TAKEN of myself and Pamela @ Bootsy's on Valentine's Day...which was equally fabulous.
9. whats the first thing you look for in a girl/guy? Brain. Not broke. Doesn't stay the night.
10. if your still in school, whats your fave lesson? Anything I can show up drunk to (bwwahahahhaaa I had to use it too Pamela. Great minds think alike)
11. what do you work as / want to work as? professional drinker
12. do you play video games? I'm a puppetier...you are my puppet. That is my game. deal.
13. who never fails to make you laugh? Macie, Pamela, Nghia and Banks
14. what are you listening to right now? the news
15. who did you last have a sleepover with? Prince Valium
16. i bet you miss someone, who? I don't answer things that may cause other's to ask questions. thanks.
17. are you happy with your life right now? There is currently not an adult beverage in my hand so no
18. why did you last get upset? bc I thought I had more beer in my fridge than I really do
19. who was the last person you texted? Stevie Wonder
20. who do you live with? Fawn and my overwhelming awesomeness. Other than that there is no more room for anything or anyone else.
21. do you like living with them? duh
22. whats your mood right now on myspace? none
24. did you realise that there was no 23? do you realize that you don't know how to spell for shit?
26. who did you last shout at and why? Steve I'm sure. He is a professional piss Jen off man
27. are you normally a happy person? define normally
28. what was the last thing you went to see in the movies and with who? a seedy "not for the kids" movie in an alley. I dunno. I only keep track of my booze and men, not the movies I see.
29. whats your fave food? Mexican and a great filet.
30. are you in love? With my MAC, alcohol, bronzer, mascara, my friends, fawn and family
31. do you remember how you were 3 years ago? yea i remember. And???????
32. if so, does it make you cringe? hahha
33. if you could be with someone right now, who would it be? TCOSYG
34. do you have any blogs on your myspace? yes
35. whats your fave thing in your room? my bed
36. is this quiz boring you? you have no idea
37. if you had one wish, what would you wish for? A good man who knows how to treat me....yet to find that shit
38. when was the last time you lied? probably throughout this entire stupid quiz
39. are your lips chapped? no but I'll chap your ass
40. any last words for this survey? I enjoy doing useless shit that wastes my time. Oh of course I do, look at the people I've dated!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
I'll thank you to cease talking over my WINNING!
Steve: "Stop being such a bitch"
Jen: "Steve, you should know me by now that this isn't going to happen, as it is part of my charm. I do appreciate the nice compliment though."
Jen: "Steve, you should know me by now that this isn't going to happen, as it is part of my charm. I do appreciate the nice compliment though."
Check please!
I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb can of coffee
& 1 lb package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right! I am single, but how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb can of coffee
& 1 lb package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right! I am single, but how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Take me on the ottoman
So I'm trying to decide exactly how I want to decorate my new living room.
I need a soothing environment. Good colors, something different, but nothing boring.
I'm currently picking out new furniture. I'm trying to mix it up a little so my decorating possiblities are endless.
I have some ideas, and I think I've made my mind up on which furniture I am buying. However, the one thing that is bothering the hell out of me....do I get an ottoman? Are those strictly for old people? I wouldn't think so, but at the same time, I do not believe I have ever seen one in someone's house under the age of 65.
I need a soothing environment. Good colors, something different, but nothing boring.
I'm currently picking out new furniture. I'm trying to mix it up a little so my decorating possiblities are endless.
I have some ideas, and I think I've made my mind up on which furniture I am buying. However, the one thing that is bothering the hell out of me....do I get an ottoman? Are those strictly for old people? I wouldn't think so, but at the same time, I do not believe I have ever seen one in someone's house under the age of 65.
Touché…
To the woman that crapped in my car…
(NE Portland )
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call, Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…
(NE Portland )
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call, Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…
Nothing Says I'm Over You Like a lot of Bronzer
So I'm going to paint the front door to my new apartment BRONZE. Catch my drift?
The Man I Want to Marry
1. I love my wife.
2. I would never cheat on her
3. After a decade together, I still fantasize about her when I'm alone
4. Our baby is beautiful.
5. Wife has 6 pack abs again
6. She makes the effort
7. And so do I
8. We appreciate each other
9. And work together
10. And stay sexy for each other
11. And fantasize together
12. And motivate each other
13. We don't watch TV
14. TV is distractive shit
15. Instead we talk
16. We eat together
17. And listen to each other
18. I love it when she rubs my neck when I'm driving
19. She loves it when I rub cream on her feet
20. I leave the seat down
21. Sometimes she makes me a sandwich
22. I brush the snow off her car
23. She surprises me with sexy things
24. We met at the Roxy
25. I still have her phone number
she gave me advice for fellow men posting to R&R (or just in general):
1. Don't complain about how your wife or gf treats you. Is there a reason she treats you that way? Put down the remote and work on it with her. Go to therapy. If you can't work it out, separate and get on with your life.
2. Don't brag about cheating on your wife. That's a lame thing to do. Real men don't brag about cheating on their spouses. When you brag to strangers online about cheating on your wife, you've reduced yourself to the lowest form of shit imaginable.
3. Don't post cock pics. It's lame. If you want to be with a woman, take a shower, shave, get dressed, and go out and meet one.
4. Don't whine. Real men don't wine. They effect change.
5. Don't post porn. It's lame. We all know where to find it if we want to look at it. The woman in the picture won't magically appear in your bedroom if you post it. You have better things to do with your time than that.
6. Stop being hateful. It doesn't make the world a better place. it doesn't make you happier. Shut off the computer and work on making yourself a better person.
7. Stop being angry. You were born into a world with many problems, get over it. We all have problems. The sun doesn't rise and set on your ass. Work them out. Shut up and Do what you need to do.
8. Don't act like an asshole just because you happen to be with some assholes. Be a leader. Wake them up or find better friends.
9. Stop being led by your cock. Men who are slaves to their own cock are weak. Lead your cock, don't follow it. Master your cock instead of master-bating it. Silly insecure boys post messages asking women to show their tits. Be a man, use your big head, get off your ass and go out and meet a woman. Both you and your dick will be happier for it.
10. Don't troll for FWB if you are in a relationship. There is nothing more cowardly than to sneak around behind your spouse's back. If you want to play the field then stop being a louse, grow some balls, step up to the plate and tell your spouse or girlfriend that you want to move on. You don't want her to waste your time, so don't waste hers. Be a man.
11. Stop hating on fat women. Fat women aren't happy about being fat. They know what they're up against and they don't need your shit to add to the problem. They're not all lazy fuckers, they're often victims of stress and depression like you, except they turn it inwards instead of spewing written shit like you. Be an encouraging pen pal, not a verbal shitheel.
12. Stop spewing racist shit. It's another waste of your time. All the minorities around you are here to stay. Get used to it.
13. Stop spewing homophobic shit. One in ten are gay. That means someone in your own family. Probably you. Gay people want the same thing you do: nice neighbors, a wide screen TV, lower taxes, and a day's pay. What's the fucking problem. Your bullshit won't change anything. Get over it.
My suggested goals for my fellow men:
1. Strive to be a man people want to be around. This means being congenial, fair, loyal, and honest.
2. Try to do something nice for someone at least once each day, even if it's as simple as holding a door for someone.
3. Decide what your principles are as a man and live by them. Make decisions using your principles instead of using fear, pain or pleasure.
4. Strive to exercise a few times a week. It keeps you fit and your mind clear.
5. Keep yourself groomed, clean, and neat. it will make you feel more confident.
6. You live in a marketing culture that tries to convince you that self gratification in all forms is the way to happiness. The real way to happiness is to give to others. Find a benevolent club, church, or organization. Join it and make a difference. Then you'll feel real happiness in spite of your other problems.
7. Shut the TV off. Find productive ways to spend your time. Any time you are about to do something, ask yourself first if you are just distracting yourself.
8. Don't spend your life distracting yourself from being something better.
9. Realize that everyday you are exposed to 3000-5000 advertisements.
10. Rise above the sea of bullshit around you. Be an island.
11. Stop worrying about keeping pace with your friends. Instead figure out what is important to you.
12. The world is full of creepy, insecure, arrogant, selfish, dishonest, and narrow minded men. You can be something better.
As men, truths to heed:
1. You are allowed to feel emotion, smile, laugh, and have fun
2. Asking for directions is a sign of strength, not weakness
3. The measure of a man is how he thinks and acts, not about muscles or tattoos. Think about that.
2. I would never cheat on her
3. After a decade together, I still fantasize about her when I'm alone
4. Our baby is beautiful.
5. Wife has 6 pack abs again
6. She makes the effort
7. And so do I
8. We appreciate each other
9. And work together
10. And stay sexy for each other
11. And fantasize together
12. And motivate each other
13. We don't watch TV
14. TV is distractive shit
15. Instead we talk
16. We eat together
17. And listen to each other
18. I love it when she rubs my neck when I'm driving
19. She loves it when I rub cream on her feet
20. I leave the seat down
21. Sometimes she makes me a sandwich
22. I brush the snow off her car
23. She surprises me with sexy things
24. We met at the Roxy
25. I still have her phone number
she gave me advice for fellow men posting to R&R (or just in general):
1. Don't complain about how your wife or gf treats you. Is there a reason she treats you that way? Put down the remote and work on it with her. Go to therapy. If you can't work it out, separate and get on with your life.
2. Don't brag about cheating on your wife. That's a lame thing to do. Real men don't brag about cheating on their spouses. When you brag to strangers online about cheating on your wife, you've reduced yourself to the lowest form of shit imaginable.
3. Don't post cock pics. It's lame. If you want to be with a woman, take a shower, shave, get dressed, and go out and meet one.
4. Don't whine. Real men don't wine. They effect change.
5. Don't post porn. It's lame. We all know where to find it if we want to look at it. The woman in the picture won't magically appear in your bedroom if you post it. You have better things to do with your time than that.
6. Stop being hateful. It doesn't make the world a better place. it doesn't make you happier. Shut off the computer and work on making yourself a better person.
7. Stop being angry. You were born into a world with many problems, get over it. We all have problems. The sun doesn't rise and set on your ass. Work them out. Shut up and Do what you need to do.
8. Don't act like an asshole just because you happen to be with some assholes. Be a leader. Wake them up or find better friends.
9. Stop being led by your cock. Men who are slaves to their own cock are weak. Lead your cock, don't follow it. Master your cock instead of master-bating it. Silly insecure boys post messages asking women to show their tits. Be a man, use your big head, get off your ass and go out and meet a woman. Both you and your dick will be happier for it.
10. Don't troll for FWB if you are in a relationship. There is nothing more cowardly than to sneak around behind your spouse's back. If you want to play the field then stop being a louse, grow some balls, step up to the plate and tell your spouse or girlfriend that you want to move on. You don't want her to waste your time, so don't waste hers. Be a man.
11. Stop hating on fat women. Fat women aren't happy about being fat. They know what they're up against and they don't need your shit to add to the problem. They're not all lazy fuckers, they're often victims of stress and depression like you, except they turn it inwards instead of spewing written shit like you. Be an encouraging pen pal, not a verbal shitheel.
12. Stop spewing racist shit. It's another waste of your time. All the minorities around you are here to stay. Get used to it.
13. Stop spewing homophobic shit. One in ten are gay. That means someone in your own family. Probably you. Gay people want the same thing you do: nice neighbors, a wide screen TV, lower taxes, and a day's pay. What's the fucking problem. Your bullshit won't change anything. Get over it.
My suggested goals for my fellow men:
1. Strive to be a man people want to be around. This means being congenial, fair, loyal, and honest.
2. Try to do something nice for someone at least once each day, even if it's as simple as holding a door for someone.
3. Decide what your principles are as a man and live by them. Make decisions using your principles instead of using fear, pain or pleasure.
4. Strive to exercise a few times a week. It keeps you fit and your mind clear.
5. Keep yourself groomed, clean, and neat. it will make you feel more confident.
6. You live in a marketing culture that tries to convince you that self gratification in all forms is the way to happiness. The real way to happiness is to give to others. Find a benevolent club, church, or organization. Join it and make a difference. Then you'll feel real happiness in spite of your other problems.
7. Shut the TV off. Find productive ways to spend your time. Any time you are about to do something, ask yourself first if you are just distracting yourself.
8. Don't spend your life distracting yourself from being something better.
9. Realize that everyday you are exposed to 3000-5000 advertisements.
10. Rise above the sea of bullshit around you. Be an island.
11. Stop worrying about keeping pace with your friends. Instead figure out what is important to you.
12. The world is full of creepy, insecure, arrogant, selfish, dishonest, and narrow minded men. You can be something better.
As men, truths to heed:
1. You are allowed to feel emotion, smile, laugh, and have fun
2. Asking for directions is a sign of strength, not weakness
3. The measure of a man is how he thinks and acts, not about muscles or tattoos. Think about that.
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